I had a great dinner with a friend last week. We talked for hours about our current endeavors, careers etc. Towards the end of the conversation I told her that I haven’t been blogging as much as I used to. She said, “well you don’t need an outlet as much as you used to.” That really got me thinking and of course it got me writing!
I quit my job a little over a month ago, things have truly been a whirlwind ever since. I’ve dealt with highs and lows from death to success. Usually those moments would be penned, it’s only right that I give a full update of my current state of mind/life.
I lost someone very close to me. She battled cancer for years, we thought we were in the clear but it reared its ugly head as it always does and took away my little family. Many of you know I live with my best friend. I have now for almost two years. It was her, Aunt Nancy and I, our little family. I remember coming by to see the place years ago and this woman telling me it’s small but I think you’ll like it. She was referencing my room, which is small by even New York City standards but what my room lacked in size, she made up for with an abundance of her love.
This woman was an aunt to us, a mother to us, and keeper to us. She was everything and more, I remember coming home from work sometimes past midnight. She would yell from below “Venesasssaa” questioning why I was out late but also ensuring I made it home okay. She gave us so much food that I’m now Italian by default. I miss her very much, I know Ally misses her too. And to be honest it just sucks, cancer sucks, this whole situation sucks. The thought of leaving a place we’ve called home for so long is scary. But with her no longer here, it’s not the same anyway. Nobody screams ours names from the button floor, nobody cooks for us, nobody checks on us. She was an incredible woman. I know she is looking down on us, proud for the next stage we are embarking on.
She wanted me to quit my job long before I did. She would always tell me “that job is stressing you out. It’s making you sick.” My last day, I went and spent some time with her in the hospital. I told her today was my last day, she said “good” with a power in her voice that only those close to her can appreciate.
There I was jobless, frighten but confident. I’m a firm believer that life works for you when you start working with it. Rather God works for you when you start working with him. It took incredible faith to walk away with no safety net, no health insurance, no money. Nothing but a prayer and a dream. A month later, I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been, happiness is relative but I’m at peace. I saw my orthodontist yesterday and she said I smile more, so there ya go!
Okay I’m babbling a bit, let me stop and tell you what I’ve been up to.
I’ve been writing! Okay not here, but I have. I do some freelance stuff; anything from websites to press releases. It’s so cool to do what I love everyday. I also am a personal assistant to a major player in the music world. Every week is an industry event or another great experience. It’s not all fun and games but I am grateful.
Oh not to mention, I’m a de facto assistant to my best friend, who has recently garnered great success in her career. She’s a dope artist, go check her out: allisondayka.com, that’s my shameless plug but I digress.
I still work out! I did take a little break but since last week I’ve been super consistent. I don’t eat as healthy as I used to, I’m working on it. My weight loss journey is over. I’m cognizant of the scale but the numbers don’t define me the way they used to. I just strive to be healthier everyday. My medicine has been changed twice in the last few months; my doctor feels this is something that will be happening frequently as my body continues to adjust. I think I have fully accepted my condition and I’m working with my body. There is no end goal, just the process, just creating me.
Lastly, I just accepted a part time position as an Athletic Director for Manhattan Youth, an after-school program. I’ll be developing and implementing all fitness and sports programs for the youth. I look forward to that position. I think it will allow me the opportunity to not only pay the bills but also do what I love for a large enough part of the day so that it all makes sense.
A Woman in Process